Short Thoughts on Good Friends

The word sonder refers to the complexities of each and every one of us. We all have had unique experiences in life — each of us with a different story to tell.

What makes us, us? Is it our upbringing and the environment, or is it something that’s genetically edged in our DNA?

It is a mixture of both.

As a college student I’ve met people from many different walks of life and you soon realize that there are only a small number of people that you can truly connect with. That doesn’t mean someone can’t have a big social network, it means that within that network there are only a few people that you would consider your closest friends. It sounds cynical, but it actually makes our lives a lot more meaningful.

It was only a few months ago when I realized this.

One day at work a regular, also a good friend of mine, came in to visit me on my last day of work before I left for college. We conversed over a delicious plate of sushi, and when he asked if I was excited for college I said, “ Of course, I can’t wait to meet all the new and different people at university.”

Then he said something very profound that stuck with me, “In life you’’ll meet new people, but they won’t always be different people.”

At first, it really wrestled with me. I had to give it a lot of thought before I realized how insightful his statement was. For the most part you will meet people that share similar archetypes with those that you already know in life, which you won’t become best friends with each and every person you meet. That is okay because objectively it’s best to be around people that share similar values and goals as you.

Throughout the world people tend to group with people that are similar to them. That is why in high school there are so many different social groups, and each one with its own set of values and interests.

People are usually friends with people that have similar aspirations, hobbies, and attitudes towards life as them.

Researchers have also found that humans are able to maintain only five intimate relationships at once. Note that it isn’t about how many friendships you have, but the quality of those friendships.

You should surround yourself with people that will drive you towards becoming your best self. Surround yourself with smart, ambitious, realistic, and supporting people. These people will become your mastermind group so make sure you fill that group with valuable people.

According to the law of averages you will be the average of the people you let into your inner circle.

However, don’t shut out all the critics because you need them to point out your mistakes so you can be aware of your shortcomings. The awareness of one’s weaknesses is how we evolve as individuals, and remember to continually work towards betterment.

Also remember the most important asset in any relationship is trust, so be sure that you can trust those that are closest to you.

Then remember to have fun with your friends, life isn’t supposed to be serious all the time. Have fun and let loose. Do things with your friends outside of your comfort zones. Whether its sky diving or traveling, just remember that no matter how old we are we all need some time for fun.

Be friends with people that you respect and aspire to be like.

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