These Fashion Mistakes Are Making You Look Old

FOREVER YOUNG

Stop aging yourself

We value youthfulness in our society, so stop looking like an old fuck.

If you want to be respected on this planet, you need to update your style. Take a look at these outdated fashion nightmares. Use my simple swaps to go from nursing home wretch to one sexy catch!

That clanking, shiny eyesore must go. Bulky is out, streamlined is in.

Even though we can’t see your face under that mask, your outfit choice tells us you’re a geriatric mess. And what’s with the long, girthy lance? Compensating for something?

This look has got to go. Say good “knight” to this metallic mistake.

What to wear instead:
A classic black pantsuit

Um, seriously? You look ancient wearing that dusty, old-timey uniform. Ghost vibe is out, chic casual is in.

And what are you carrying? A musket? Oh, honey. It’s time to put that whole ensemble in the trash.

This look is deader than a Confederate soldier who took a cannonball to the face.

What to wear instead:
A crew neck sweater and jeans

Uh… OK BOOMER.

By wearing such a gag-worthy shirt, you’re admitting to watching that staticky BORE on your tiny TV back in the 30's or whatever. Nerd gear is out, crisp lines are in.

The moon landing may have been one small step for man, but that t-shirt is one giant “Ew” for mankind.

What to wear instead:
A plaid button down

Yikes.

That outfit makes you look uptight and crotchety. You might be catching bad guys, but those pants are the real crime!

Wait, what did you say? This is a history museum and the people I’ve been critiquing are mannequins? I need to leave at once?

EXCUUUUSE ME, guard? You think MY style is terrible? What’s wrong with a grown woman wearing a giant Victorian nightgown? You think I look like a bitchy version of the girl from The Exorcist? How rude! No, I didn’t steal this nightgown from the 18th-century wing! You’re certain I did? Prove it!

OUCH STOP TASING MEEEEEEE!

More old people:

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