the real story of a tall girl

The insecurity is there..

The struggle is real because it’s the struggle that no one seems to understand.

“You don’t have to care about what people say,” they say — but it’s not easy to feel nothing.

Back in my high school years, I was given several names because of my height.

Growing up as a 175-cm-tall girl in an Asian country, it’s really not ideal and is not a common trait people are familiar with. But, it is a common thing that people are going to notice.

“You’re so tall,” they say

“Why are you so tall?” they say

“You’re too tall, how can you find a boyfriend,” they say

Yes, I have been experiencing all these name-givings, these comments, and these kinds of questions as if it was my fault.

And for a long while, I actually thought ‘it was my fault,’ when, in fact, it really was not something fixable. I could not just see the doctor and ask him to cut some height out.

I have negative, not-so-self-loving thoughts inside my head:

‘Why did I have to be born this way?’

‘I will never find a boyfriend or someone who can accept my height.’

‘I am not worthy of love.’

‘I hate my height.’

And finally, ‘I hate myself.’

For the longest time, I never knew how to get these thoughts out of me. I was like a sinking boat, drowning in the ocean waiting for someone who will come to reassure me and say, “You are enough just the way you are.”

And the sad truth was, ‘there was NONE.’

There was no one who is coming my way to save me.

When I talked to my parents about it, they do not seem to understand my struggles of how much I hated myself back then.

It was like I was left in the dark, all by myself.

Luckily, I found my guide to self-love and begin the journey to accept myself as my own self again.

I cannot remember exactly how it happened, when it happened, and why it happened, but until then, I have been consuming a lot of positive quotes, self-love stories, and how to embrace yourself for who you are.

I read them all day and night. I consume every single word, interpreting every single character until they all become a part of me.

Slowly, gradually,

day by day, hour by hour,

minute by minute, second by second,

I became more acceptance of myself, embraced every little bit of myself, and eventually gained the confidence I had before all these name-givings and ridiculous questions were formed.

It needs energy, needs effort, and needs the hope that one day there is going to be the light at the end of the tunnel. Some day is harder than others when you feel like you are locked up in that brain cage and you are nowhere to be saved while some day is going to feel like you almost did it. But then these self-hatred thoughts are just going to hit you again in the face.

Nevertheless, I must say that it was a beautiful journey.

It was the journey that I gained so much self-awareness where I learned so much about myself. I learned to accept, to forgive, and to embrace everything that makes me who I am, the good ones as well as the bad ones.

So if there is anything you can take away from my story today, I would say:

And finally remember ‘you are the most unique human-being on the planet, and you make the world a better place just by being you.’

So, to anyone struggling with embracing yourself and accepting your flaws, you got this! The sun will rise and you will show up proudly as yourself again ;) I am rooting for you!

love,

your dearest friend

Related posts:

Capricorn christmas light tester manually The exclusive fibers we use in the manufacture of our product, makes it the best Artificial Lawn for Fawn Creek, Kansas. The Synthetic Turf in Fawn Creek you…

If you were to stand on the equator, the widest part of the Earth, you’d be speeding along at 1,600 kilometres per hour, due to the Earth spinning on its axis once every 24 hours. The Earth and the…

Have you ever been alone in a great old house and felt something? Like maybe the place is haunted, or it’s humming with history. Either something living has been hidden away, or something dead has…