Lost

I always knew I wanted to work and I had a plan: the kids would go to daycare, housekeeper would clean the house, and I’d cook after coming home from work(because I love cooking). But here I am today, a full-time stay-at-home mom for nearly seven years. We are so grateful for our two wonderful children and I spend my days trying to raise them as good, caring and confident little people. Not in my wildest dreams did I ever picture myself staying at home to look after the house and kids. My husband travels for work so my guilt took over that if I also work, who will be around to spend time with the kiddos? It didn’t seem practical to send them to daycare, as my entire paycheck would probably go to paying that off. So I thought to myself I would wait until they are in school to get a job.

I couldn’t help but feel lost after being out of touch with the workforce for so long. Over the years, I could sense my attention span decrease and my brain turn to mush. I credit this to the ‘hyper-sentitive’ mode moms constantly need to be in to prevent accidents, fights, and just keeping track of everything. I didn’t know what I wanted to do anymore or how I would get back in the workforce once I was able to. My critical thinking skills suffered and I lost confidence in myself to be able to get a job. I thought of starting my own business many times I but would never follow through and make up excuses.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized I would never get anywhere by making excuses. There will always be work to do around the house, projects to do with the kids, vacations, family and friends’ commitments. But life goes on and if I ever want to do something for myself, I would have to make time for it and put in the effort.

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